"The Rasmussens are giving away kittens for Halloween! Father says we've been had. Mother says we should take them something they don't want, in return."

                              "Well, okay...  I sure hope she's serious."

 

"I'm all done decorating for Halloween! I just know the cute little girl from next door will be really impressed!"

                 "That's funny...  She doesn't have any decorations up at all."

                                          "Oh.  Her father's a dentist."

"Father says I have too many mechanical toys. He says I should use my imagination more."

 "He says that when he was my age, he used to play train by lining up chairs."

                                "Well, is this thing gonna move, or what?"

 

"Pss-t!  I'm hiding! Can you see me? That's right, I'm playing hookey again today!  Mother thinks I got on the bus, but I didn't!  Hee hee!"

                                              "SHHH!  Not a word..."

                                        "YAY! She didn't see me!"

              "OH NO...!  I've set off my teddy bear's musical soundtrack!"

                                     "AAAK!  I can't turn it off...!!!"

 "Mother's going to drive me to school.  Geez, betrayed by my own teddy bear!"

 

     "I embarrassed Mother again.  And all I did was clean the oven!"

                          "Maybe I shouldn't have told her about it?"

                "Well, aren't you gonna ask me how was school today?"

 

"Mother says it's high time I learned to iron.  Geez, look at the HEAPS of ironing she wants me to do!!!"

             "Now I'm supposed to tidy up the attic.  That's heaped up too."

                                               "So's the trash..."

 "And it's my turn to wash the dishes again.  Just look at that HEAP!"

                            "WHEW!  Finally, I'm done!  No more HEAPS!" 

 

"The cute little girl from next door is gonna love my cowboy act! Just watch this!"

 "Well, howdy, miss!  Jest you stand right there and watch while I rope me a nice fat steer."

 "Well, tarnation!  Durned if I didn't miss the steer and got me a purty little filly instead!"

                    "You know, sometimes I wonder if she even likes me."

 

                                                         "Uh-oh..."

                                "Um--  All the neighbors are outside, and they--"

            "No fair!  Why do parents always immediately assume the worst?"

 

                     "Homework assignment: 'Discuss global warming.'"

               "Easy!  Especially since there's an oven just three feet away!"

 

"Father, what should I do with all the treasure I found? What should I do with it? Father? Father? Father? What should I do with all the treasure I found? What should I--"

                             "Grownups.  They never take you seriously."

 

"Today I'm gonna impress the cute little girl from next door with an amazing stunt!"

"GM will jump onto the teeter-totter and I'll backflip once or twice and land--"

                          "--right in the middle of Mother's coffee klatch."

                  "I wonder if the Flying Wallendas ever had days like this..."

 

                                              "Mother hates ironing."

                                      "Father hates going to work."

                                           "Mother hates vacuuming."

                                        "Father hates paying bills."

                       "I'm so lucky to be a kid!  What's not to love???"

 

"Sometimes I like to visit the big playroom.  This is where the hands live..."

        "Gosh, what a mess!  Haven't they any pride?  Any self-respect???"

                                           "How can they live like that?"