"Oh, Mother--  Don't go into the kitchen, okay?"

                                    "Wow, that sure got rid of her fast..."

                                  "Well, really, what was I thinking?"

 

"I need a decoration for my piano but the stores don't have any busts of Beethoven!"

                "Guess I'll have to see what I can find in the big playroom."

                         "Father, will you walk through the front door, please?"

"Father, you still haven't walked through the front door.  Will you walk through the front door? Please?"

               "Father, please walk through the front door!  Pl-eee-ase?"

                     "You know, it's almost like he suspects something!"

 

       "But you're not fat, Mother!  You can still see all of yourself in the mirror!"

 

"Here comes Mrs. Rasmussen with another cheesecake. I hate cheesecake!"

"It's Mrs. Rasmussen, Mother...  Shall I call pest control?"

                                     "Well, I thought it was funny."

 

                     "I found this old TV in the attic, and it still works!"

 "Oh, look--  The Return of the Bride of the Son of the Thing is playing..."

 "GM!  Where are you? I need somebody to watch with me so I don't get scared!"

                           "Creepy stuff is fine as long as it's just on TV..."

 

"Uh-oh...  Mother wants to clean my room.  I'll tell her something's smoking on the stove..."

             "Maybe short-term strategies aren't always the best approach."

 

"Oh, noooooo...!  I'm supposed to eat only healthy afternoon snacks from now on..."

                                      "Heh--  Good thing I'm a hoarder!" 

"It just figures...  Only a mother could hear the crackle of a candy wrapper from six rooms away!"

 

"Deena wants to go find an enchanted frog so she can end up with a handsome prince..."

                     "Well, how about that?  Right in our own back yard!"

"Oh.  Deena changed her mind.  She doesn't want to kiss the frog...  Okaaay...  That leaves me."

 

 "Gosh, he was really mad!  How's that for gratitude?  See if I ever kiss a frog again!"

 

            "I know there's a box of Treatsie Pops in here somewhere."

 "Cripes, I'll never get all this stuff back in.  I'm not any good at packing...  Fortunately, I am good at hiding things!"

 

                   "It's raining outside, so I moved the sandbox in here."

"As long as I keep most of the sand in the sandbox I probably won't get into trouble..."

                    "Yep, I'm good.  Most of the sand is still in the sandbox."

                              "Uh-huh...  Yep...  Most of the sand is still--"

                        "In trouble???  ME???  But most of the sand is still--"

"I've read about this sort of thing in fairy tales...  But I have to admit, I'd much rather have a magic purse than a magic sandbox!"

 

             "Mother's just back from the library.  I wonder what she got..."

 "Hmm...  'Raising the Difficult Child', 'Why Johnny Won't Listen', 'H is for Hellion', 'How to Survive Motherhood', 'Tough Love 101'..."

                       "Gosh, I wonder who she's planning to adopt?"

 

"Ah, summertime, summertime!  Lots of quality time in the back yard...  Lots of watermelon..."

                         "Is it just me, or do the bees get bigger every year?"